Stop the NOISE - a 3 Step Formula to Finding YOUR Self-Care Remedy - PART 2
Hi friend! This post is a continuation of a previous blog. If you’re landing here, I’d recommend you read Part 1, so you don’t miss out on the crucial first step. When you’re ready - jump back over here for Part 2.
STEP TWO: Notice What Brings You Joy
Whether you know what you like or don’t like, there’s a way you can easily find out. This is my little secret called a JOY LIST.
Grab your phone - Open the Notes App and make a List called “MY JOY LIST.”
Whenever you have an experience that brings you joy, jot it down on this list. It can be small, big, or anything in between.
Why is this important? Because sometimes, in moments of stress, we forget what brings us joy. We don’t know how to jump out of it. We freeze.
With this list, it's a click away. You can pick from those things without having too much thought or decision-making needed.
Here are some things that are on my joy list:
A long hot shower
A delicious savory breakfast
Being in nature - especially in the woods
Curling up with a blanket and reading a fiction book (which I RARELY do)
Exploring new places
Sitting on the front porch and watching a thunderstorm
Crisp, clean sheets
A JOY playlist I have saved in SPOTIFY (send me a DM if you’d like it!)
Let me know what’s on yours and maybe we can learn from each other.
Step 3: Consider your season
As a mom, our time is split into SO many buckets.
We might not have time for grand gestures and vacations, but that doesn’t mean we have to (or should) skip out of self-care
It’s important to consider what season you’re in and what that means for what you need most and also how much time you have available.
Are you chasing two under two? Or worrying about the whereabouts of a teenager? Are you working full-time, part-time, staying at home with your babies, or a mix of all the above? Do you have a support system? Is your partner able to care for the kids for a portion of the week, or is it simply impossible for this season?
The answers to these questions will all lead to different answers to what you need and how it can be achieved.
Earlier last year, there was a post poking fun at the things that are considered “self-care” for moms. The comment section was EXPLODING with opinions on either side of the coin of whether this was an insult or a pain point.
I’ve had it happen to me, too.
I return from a solo trip to the grocery store, and my husband asks, “How was your morning” in a tone that implies I just went to the spa - feet up, no responsibilities, total bliss. I pause because I don’t know how to answer…
Was it nice to have some alone time? Yes. Would I consider it self-care? not really because it was not what I needed at that moment to feel better. Not to mention the number of times that grocery stores have reorganized their shelves through the pandemic - it can actually be pretty maddening. All I want to know is which aisle the bread is in!?
BUT on the flip side, in some seasons, a solo trip to the store may be EXACTLY what you need…I know it was for me at some points.
As a new mom, I remember being tethered to the couch, and self-care looked simpler: To get a hot shower or to get outside - while so SMALL - they WERE the tiny things that got me through the days. A solo trip to the grocery store may have been heaven if I wasn’t laid up on the couch in recovery from a C-Section. It may not have solved every problem I had, but it was a small thing in that moment that could help.
Don’t underestimate the power of these tiny things. And PLEASE respect someone else’s opinion on what qualifies as self-care in their season of life.
Are these things basic necessities? Yes. Are there seasons where it takes effort to accomplish them? Yes.
You are the only one who can determine what fits into your life and what is considered self-care. So please, STOP telling moms that “A hot shower is not self-care.” I LOVE a hot shower, and I come out a much better person.
Maybe it’s not for you - that’s OKAY! If it makes her feel refreshed, if she enjoys it, let her soak it up. At its core, self-care can be anything that helps you feel fulfilled and refreshed.
When life is crazy and busy, sometimes the smallest, most mundane things can do this for you.
Can we strive for better and grander gestures? Yes. But let’s not demonize the little things.
Can you give her more time or encourage her to do other things? Sure. But in true transparency, some days, it may feel impossible. And that’s okay.
So next time you’re knee-deep in life, on the verge of a breakdown, ask yourself these three things:
What do I need?
What brings me joy?
What season am I in?
With these answers, you can find a better self-care tool for you at that moment.
If you’re enjoying this content, I’d love for you to come over to Instagram and let me know your favorite takeaway so I can include it in my next post and give you a shoutout. Please share it with me in DMs or on your stories with me tagged @balancedletters
As always, take care of your dream and yourself XO, MK
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