Happy Emotional Labor Day…
This one is for the woman who is feeling it all today, when a holiday weekend feels harder than being at work, when you spend all your waking hours caring for others, leaving little to no time for yourself.
It’s for those who have felt the feeling of being wrapped in barbed wire - swirling and twisting, tangling around your mind and chest. You’re spending the weekend with family but can’t help but think about the chores that are undone, the activities that need to be signed up for, or that task that is due next week waiting back at the office.
Artwork by Balanced Letters
It’s a feeling of tightness, of edginess, of mind fog. That’s where I feel it the most, in my chest, shortness of breath that tells me things have been a little too much. The overwhelm of doing ALL THE THINGS can feel like quite the suffocating life sometimes.
You feel like you have it under control and then the next day you wake up feeling like you may lose your mind. Let me tell you a little something - you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. You are taking on SO much and spending most of your waking hours selflessly doing things for other people.
It’s not the physical things
It's not the dishes or drop offs…
It's not the bottles or baseball practice…
It's not even the potty training or the pool parties…
It's the mental load. It’s keeping it all in your head. It’s the combination of it all and the space it takes up in your mind. How can you focus on one thing when there are seventeen others on your mind?
And the thing is, no one can see it. Emotional labor is invisible. So, when you boil over, the iceberg of emotions that you’ve been holding together is invisible. You feel crazy because no one sees what your holding, no one sees the wire wrapper around and around. It’s supposed to be beautiful; you should be thankful, they say. Which makes retreat…and put the pieces back together, in your mind, where they live, until next time, when they’ll boil over again.
“Emotional labor, as I define it, is emotion management and life management combined. It is the unpaid, invisible work we do to keep those around us comfortable and happy.”
― Gemma Hartley, Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward
I see you. I feel you. We’re in this together.
Now here’s what I want you to do. Today, tonight, or whenever you get a moment, even 5 minutes…take it. Take it for yourself. Only yourself. Be selfish.
But before you do that, – clear your mind.
Grab a piece of paper – anything you can find. Get everything out of your head and down on paper. The lists, the to-dos, the worries and the maybe somedays. Clear the space in your mind.
Then do it again tomorrow. And the next day…
You’ll be thankful you did and for a moment you may feel like the wire is loosened a little.
